Sleep and the transition to daycare

The transition to daycare can be tough on everyone – you’re leaving your baby for the first time and trusting them in someone else’s hands for the day. It’s a huge adjustment and if you’ve worked hard to establish your baby’s independent sleep skills, you’re probably a little extra anxious about how they will sleep outside their own sleep environment.

Personally, when I was faced with this situation for the first time, I remember feeling so nervous that all my hard work to get my son sleeping well was about to go out the window. I felt like I just had to hand him over and hope for the best. Fortunately, he adjusted fairly quickly thanks to his solid sleep skills.

What did I learn? It’s absolutely achievable to have a smooth transition to daycare. Sending your little one to daycare is not going to sabotage their sleep as long as you take the time to work with your daycare provider. Below are my top tips to help you do that in a way that will make this as easy and conflict-free as possible.

(If you have already decided on your daycare provider, you can skip the first section.)

Choosing a Daycare Provider

When you’re deciding on a daycare provider, here are a couple of sleep-centered things to keep in mind. None of these are deal-breakers, they’re just a few things to consider.

Ask them what their approach is to naps. Do they put kids down at a specific time? Do they allow kids individual nap times or is it all kids together for a specified duration?

Ask to see where they’ll be sleeping. Is it a fully-lit room with several other kids or a semi-private space where they can keep things dark?

Can you bring your own white noise machine? It can be super helpful to provide the same white noise machine that baby’s accustomed to at home. 

Are they capable of accommodating specific requests in regard to baby’s naps? (i.e. Will they allow your baby to cry for a few minutes, will they hold off on offering sleep props if you ask them to?)

Communicating with baby’s caregiver

So, once you’ve decided on a daycare provider, or if you already have your little one in a place you’re happy with, what can we do to ensure everybody’s on the same page with regards to your little one’s sleep?

Let them know how long you’re comfortable with baby fussing. Most care providers will default to a no-crying approach unless instructed otherwise.

Ask them to avoid sleep props. Be specific about what you consider a sleep prop. Ask that they refrain from using pacifiers, rocking to sleep, feeding to sleep, or whatever you’ve established as methods to get baby sleeping that you think they might become dependent on.

Be respectful of their limitations. Daycare providers are looking after a lot of kids at once and are often required to follow some overarching safety rules, so don’t be surprised if they can’t accommodate every request you throw their way. Keeping an eye on several little ones at the same time usually means no white noise machines and no dark rooms.

Above all, maintain open communication. Let your daycare provider know that you’ve been working on your baby’s sleep and where you’re at with the process. Remember that they want your little one sleeping well almost as much as you do. A well-rested baby who goes down for naps without a lot of fuss is a daycare provider’s dream come true.

A few extra tips…

Regardless of the particulars of your baby’s situation with their sleep at daycare, here are a few tips that are likely to come in handy...

If you haven’t started sleep training yet, start on a Friday night, or whatever day is farthest away from their next day of daycare. The first couple of nights are usually a bit of a roller coaster and baby’s likely to be a little out of sorts for the first 48 hours.

It’s best to get at least three or four nights in before going to daycare. If there’s a grandparent or a friend who can help you out for a day or two, consider asking them to sit in for the Monday and Tuesday so that your baby has had a good amount of time to get accustomed to their new sleeping arrangement.

Don’t “ease baby in” to their new situation. Once you’re ready to start sending baby to daycare, start off with the same schedule you want to end up at. If they’ll be going every weekday, send them every weekday right off the jump. Don’t send them for a day the first week, two days the next, and so on. They’ll adjust quicker and easier this way. Of course, it’s totally fine to visit the daycare for an hour or two with them the first couple of times but once they start, it’s best to stay consistent.

Babies are usually capable of distinguishing between different environments. Habits they learn at daycare won’t necessarily transfer over to sleep in the home, so if your daycare provider allows them a pacifier or rocks to sleep, don’t worry too much about it. Baby should still be able to understand that it’s not the same when they’re at home.

Different schedules at home and daycare are OK. In the same vein as the last point, it’s not the end of the world if their nap schedule at daycare doesn’t sync up with the one they have at home. It’s a definite bonus if you can make it work, but it’s not essential.

If baby starts falling asleep on the ride home, try to keep them awake. However, if they had a really poor nap day and are exhausted, you can let them have a short nap on the way home to help them catch up a bit. If it’s after 5:00pm though, it’s better to put them to bed early than offer a catnap. If baby does fall asleep, wake them up when you get home and let them get some more awake time before bed. Sometimes a short nap can help an overtired baby “take the edge off” so that they go to bed without having a complete meltdown.

At the end of the day, there’s no reason why daycare and sleep training can’t work together. Just keep in mind that your daycare providers are your allies in this mission. They have a vested interest in your little one being as happy and well rested as possible, and they obviously want to keep baby’s parents happy too.

Maintain open lines of communication, be respectful and patient, and accept that they can’t always tailor things to each individual child as much as they would like to. Keep up your bedtime routine, stick to your schedule as closely as possible, keep baby away from those sleep props, and things will fall into place, I assure you. And if you’re anything like me, the anticipation will be worse than the actual transition itself. You’ve got this, mama!